The Nearly Man

A message to my ex-wife.

Dear Julie

If if you buy, beg, borrow or steal a copy of this book please read it with a open mind and in the spirit it was intended.

If you can forgive me for revealing our bedroom secrets and exposing your boyfriend as a perverted pimp you will hopefully see that the rest of the book is a celebration of my life and a sort of love letter to you.

As the truth is I praise you far more then I criticise.

My aim is to promote my showbiz career and expose grimson as a boneheaded bastard who bullied women and threatened children over a 15-year period.

Believe me, it was never my intention to hurt you in anyway and I am talking past, present and future.

Love on ya

Garry
xx
xxx

So here goes the thoughts of a Nearly Man.

Its a fact of life that Deadend Yobs have either got a career in crime, football, boxing or rock and roll to save them from a life on the dole.

The hero of this book tried and failed at all four - and now you can add marriage to that list - that is why I`m known as The Nearly Man.

At 14 years old I gave up a promising football career because of a family bereavement - well thats what it felt like at the time.
The truth is my dad pissed off to be with his latest fancy woman.

Broken-hearted I hung up my football boots - but looking back I should of carried on being the Georgie Best of Essex. I thought at the time by turning my back on football I was getting back at him for walking out on me.

It had always been his ambition for me to play for West Ham United, and I thought sod it - I`ll show him - but it was a gross misjudgement on my part.
He didnt care and my sacrifice didnt work. It didnt bring him back and I didnt get to pull on the famous claret and blue shirt.

The truth is my old man was a 100% selfish bastard and unlike me never a doting dad. He was more phoney then Tony Blair.

Boxing was another passing phase, probably because I wasnt very good at it. I could take a shot and had a head like concrete - but I lacked the killer punch.
I wasnt a Sugar Ray Leonard in the ring but I could be like Mike Tyson on the cobbles - it was more natural hitting people I hated or had done me wrong - but couldnt get my head around hitting a mate in sparring.

And I never felt comfortable with a gum shield in my mouth.

Then there was sex and drugs and rock and roll. No problem with the first two - I was a natural at both (until Sept/Oct 2004) LOL - but the problem was I couldnt sing and thats a big problem where your a singer in a band.

I formed a group called The Buzz Kids and our debut gig was also our last, I think that tells you how bad we were.

And as for crime, well I gave it my best shot. I was prolific as a kid and fearless as a teenager - but the truth is I werent very good at it and kept being caught.

I werent that bothererd cos `easy teenage girls` seemed to be attracted to `bad teenage boys` if you get my drift.
Thus proving your glass is always half full rather then half empty.

I did time in various Approved Schools, Remand Homes, Secure Unit, Detention Centre and Borstal - but at Eighteen I retired from crime.

I developed a conscience.
Crime does not pay for a reason - it is wrong. The truth is crime is a Mugs Game unless your a Mr Big or a Face and I was just a wannabee who got bored.

I know its not politically correct but I still sort of love/admire/respect The Kray Twins and The Great Train Robbers.

And I truly believe that when it comes to character Freddie Foreman is one of the greatest ever Englishman.

He is right up there with war Hero Sir Winston Churchill when it comes to loyalty and leadership.

But at the same time I hate muggers, rapists, burglars, child abusers, wife beaters and lowlife petty criminals.
When it comes to crime I suppose I`m a bit of a snob. I only love proper East End gangsters and top draw villians.

I also like characters like the fictional Arthur Daley and real-life celebrity gangster Dave Courtney.

I know Dodgy Dave has his critics, but I can only speak as I find and I reckon he`s a 100% top bloke.
and
The cheeky chappie personally helped me in my hour of need - but I wont say how - unless he ever asks me to go public it will always remain a secret.

As he said at the time "I aint doing it for the glory - I`m doing it because like you I`m a dad".

Now for the big one.

I honestly thought I had cracked it on the female frontier when I met Julie Taylor. In my eyes she was the best-looking girl in the world and I was the luckiest bloke on the planet.

It honestly was a mutual feeling of `love at first sight` - but after 15 years it all went pear-shaped.
She commited adultery with a copper, a supermarket shelf-stacker and then left me for perverted pimp richard grimson.